A Modest Proposal (with apologies to Jonathan Swift)

[gvdub]

In light of recent developments, I think we should institute a new branch of the service – the United States Sex Guard. This all-volunteer force, specially trained and dedicated to their work, could provide sexual favors to politicians at all levels without risk of scandal or blackmail. Since so many politicians seem to be incapable of keeping it zipped, if we formalize this function I feel it will lead to a more smoothly running government at all levels. Or certainly a more well-lubricated one.

Now we just have to design the uniforms.